Tonight, I am making the decision to turn the computer off (except to post this, and who knows - I may get sucked in anyways) and do something different. Like, knitting and watching a movie, or reading, or going for a walk, or baking something.
I've spent too much time lately trying to put things in order or clean up little messes and making other messes in the process. There are only so many decisions you can make at a time before your brain gets stuck in a feedback loop, where every time you sit down and try and put it into neutral, it just starts repeating a message that sounds suspiciously like a mother nagging you to get up and go clean your room and do the dishes and vacuum or write a book report (I'm woefully behind on that - sorry) or post pictures or something - just don't sit there doing nothing!
The last straw came last night when I went to bed. My dreams were all about trying to accomplish various tasks so I could chill for a while, but they never seemed to end. The highlight had to be surfacing from the dream, remembering that I needed to water the geese and walk the camel. I woke up thinking, "Wait - geese? I have a camel?" It wasn't even quarter after 6 and already I was stressed out trying to figure out where I put the camel.
So tonight I am going to park my brain at the door and tell the nagging voice to take a long walk off a short pier. I will ignore the last load of laundry I need to do (towels), and put the clean clothes that are folded on my dining room table in a basket and hide it somewhere I won't need to look at it. I will go for a walk, come home and haul out my knitting and watch "Kung Fu Hustle" or a few episodes of "Firefly" or "The Fellowship of the Ring" with the actor's commentary, or - what the hell - do all of that. I just won't do anything that will lead to more work which needs to be done RIGHT NOW.
If you'll excuse me, I need to go look in my storage locker for the geese. They're getting thirsty, after all.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Katrina II
Dear God,
At first, I though maybe you hadn't seen my previous post about New Orleans, but then I realized you probably had, and were thinking, "Um, I'm trying to save LIVES here, duh!" Naturally, my response is, "Oh. Right. Sorry - keep up the good work!" I mean, houses and buildings are just things, but lives are important. And not just now, but in the near future as well, when people start returning to the city and finding their homes are ruined. They are going to be pretty emotionally devastated, and are going to need You more than ever. My cousin and his family got out safely, as did many others, and that's what's really important. So, ignore what I said earlier.
But, I should also give You a heads up, because I know what else is coming. See, I'm good at anticipating things. Things like sunrise and sunset, and what happens when mommy and daddy love each other very much. Also things like spring will follow winter, which follows autumn, which follows summer, which - surprise! - is followed by spring. What did I tell You? This stuff is easy!
Something else I anticipate - stupid religious wingnut idiots saying that You did this to punish the city for its sinful and wicked ways, to punish Americans for being sinful and wicked, and to drive home the point that if we don't mend our sinful and wicked ways, this is going to happen to us eventually, too.
Frankly? I'd rather live in sin that live in fear that if I don't do everything they tell me You told me to do I'd be punished. Because - honestly? - I think You have better things to worry about right now. When parents go around beating their children for every little offence, it's considered child abuse, and I think that if you love us enough to give us things like rainbows and laughter and love, You're not the type to go around hitting us if we don't fall into ideological lockstep with the bullies. Just a guess, though.
(This isn't to say that there won't be amazing acts of generosity and selflessness done in Your name too. And I'm sure that there are quite a few people who'll park their personal feelings at the door and deal with the victims as human beings who are hurt in ways they can't imagine. Those are the ones I'd rather associate with.)
Anyways, thanks again and keep looking after them!
r. :)
At first, I though maybe you hadn't seen my previous post about New Orleans, but then I realized you probably had, and were thinking, "Um, I'm trying to save LIVES here, duh!" Naturally, my response is, "Oh. Right. Sorry - keep up the good work!" I mean, houses and buildings are just things, but lives are important. And not just now, but in the near future as well, when people start returning to the city and finding their homes are ruined. They are going to be pretty emotionally devastated, and are going to need You more than ever. My cousin and his family got out safely, as did many others, and that's what's really important. So, ignore what I said earlier.
But, I should also give You a heads up, because I know what else is coming. See, I'm good at anticipating things. Things like sunrise and sunset, and what happens when mommy and daddy love each other very much. Also things like spring will follow winter, which follows autumn, which follows summer, which - surprise! - is followed by spring. What did I tell You? This stuff is easy!
Something else I anticipate - stupid religious wingnut idiots saying that You did this to punish the city for its sinful and wicked ways, to punish Americans for being sinful and wicked, and to drive home the point that if we don't mend our sinful and wicked ways, this is going to happen to us eventually, too.
Frankly? I'd rather live in sin that live in fear that if I don't do everything they tell me You told me to do I'd be punished. Because - honestly? - I think You have better things to worry about right now. When parents go around beating their children for every little offence, it's considered child abuse, and I think that if you love us enough to give us things like rainbows and laughter and love, You're not the type to go around hitting us if we don't fall into ideological lockstep with the bullies. Just a guess, though.
(This isn't to say that there won't be amazing acts of generosity and selflessness done in Your name too. And I'm sure that there are quite a few people who'll park their personal feelings at the door and deal with the victims as human beings who are hurt in ways they can't imagine. Those are the ones I'd rather associate with.)
Anyways, thanks again and keep looking after them!
r. :)
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