Wednesday, March 08, 2006

iPope*

*No, this headline is never going to get old. Learn it, live it, love it, people!

Apparently, the Pope now has an iPod nano. It came loaded with classical music and special Vatican Radio programing.

Boooooring.

What the Pope needs is some music that will help bring him into the 21st century, help him relate to the kids today.

Ministry - Jesus Built my Hotrod
Perfect! They have an appropriate name, AND the song demonstrates how our Saviour is with us at all times, and helping us whenever we need it.

Marilyn Manson - Personal Jesus
Even though he looks like Satan, Mason tells us about how important it is to have Jesus in our everyday lives.

Rufus Wainwright - Gay Messiah
The Pope, like many other Chrisitan leaders, apparently labours under the assumption that Jesus doesn't like gay people. I know they're wrong about that, but just in case, Wainwright sings about the Messiah who is coming exclusively for homosexuals.

AC/DC - Hell's Bells
Need a reminder about what happens to sinners when they die? These "bells" of hell will ring out to remind you to stay on the path of righteousness!

Joan Osborne - What If God Was One Of Us
Well, He may actually already be one of us - ever think of that, Benny?

The Charlie Daniels Band - The Devil Went Down to Georgia
Which explains a lot.

Rolling Stones - Sympathy for the Devil
See what happens when you sympathize with the Devil? You become inexplicably attractive to the opposite sex, you drink and do a lot of drugs, and become millionaires with throngs of screaming fans. Wait... is that supposed to be a bad thing?

B-52's - Love Shack
I think all places of worship should be called "love shacks" from now on.

Led Zeplin - Stairway to Heaven
Only young, fit folk need to climb the stairway to heaven - the elderly and infirm will take the express elevator.

Tom Waits - Chocolate Jesus
How sacreligious! I can't imagine what a song like this is doing on the Pope's playlist!

Johny Cash - Ring of Fire
If you're not careful, you'll end up going to hell too!

Okay, I've given you a head start - what are some other songs I should put on here?

(Incidentally, a co-worker told me George Stroumboulopoulos did something similar on his show recently. However, I can't find the list anywhere, so you'll just have to put up with mine.)

Thanks to my posse at work for the suggestions at lunch today.