Gee, like it hasn't been done to death already. But I took notes, so here it is!
Jon Stewart - I wasn't sure if I was going to like him in the job as host, since it was going to put a crimp in his style. Either that, or he'd be funny but no one would laugh at this humour. Happily, I did like him, and I did think it was funny.
The cowboy montage was hilarious.
Ben Stiller and his green screen suit wasn't funny. Not even a little. Shut up, Ben. Also annoying was the music they played while the winners were accepting their awards - it was distracting!
The skit about how winners would know their time was up was amusing. Kudos for Tom Hanks for being hit over the head with a viola.
Wait a minute - Beyonce isn't singing all the nominated songs this year?
John Canemaker (Best Animated Short) thanked his boyfriend - awwww!
Someone needed to tell Colleen Atwood (Best Costumes) that she looked like she was trying to dress half her age. I mean, the sides were open all the way up, and it was very low cut. Maybe on a younger, more svelte woman, but not her.
Will Ferrell and Steve Carrell - hee. I would kill for Steve's fake eyelashes.
The fake campaign commercials were dumb, but funny. Still, Dame Judi didn't look all that amused.
Jon nailed it when he asked what was up with all the montages. Seriously. They cut people's speeches short, but there was a montage for everything. I felt sorry for Lauren Bacall - she started to loose it about halfway through, and I held my breath hoping she was going to make it to the end.
It seemed the predominate colour scheme was neutrals and ivory, which was dull, as most of the women wearing it were blond. It made them look bland and washed out. Except for Salma Hayek, who's turquoise gown was gorgeous. (And thank you for not appearing alongside Penelope Cruz again this year - it's been a few days since I've gone for a walk and I'd eaten a lot of waffles on Sunday, so I don't need any further reminders how bloated I am right now.)
(I don't have many notes after this point, so I'm winging it now.)
Steve Box and Nick Park - so cute with the bow ties for the awards! And the stuffed penguins! Also so cute!
I cannot believe "It's Hard Out There For A Pimp" won. There are a myriad of cultural and social reasons why a song about pimping and exploiting women is wrong wrong wrong, but also that the song just plain sucked. Dolly should have won, but was the picture of grace when those yahoos got the award instead of her.
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, George Clooney, and Reese Witherspoon all had excellent acceptance speeches. I won't speak on Rachel Weisz because Michelle Williams was ROBBED. (So was Jake Gyllenhaal, but I can live with that.)
Lord love Larry McMurtry for wearing a "Texas tuxedo" (jeans and cowboy boots with a tux jacket).
Corinne Marrinan (Best Documentary Short) was adorable. And she got to sit next to The Clooney at the nominees luncheon - so lucky!
I can't believe Crash won Best Picture. Sure, it was a great movie, but it relied on multiple plots and a vast list of characters to pull it off. Brokeback Mountain was carried by two actors, who made it a spectacular film. Grrrr...