- Scenario #1: Problem Library Users - the program is designed to teach librarians how to deal with those library users who make your life a living hell. You'll learn when and how to confront them, when to ignore them and walk away, and how to hide the bodies if the first two suggestions fail.
- Scenario #2: Effective Gossip-mongering - the Library is the hub of any community, where residents go for all of their information needs, from formal and informal sources. As such, the library should be *the* place residents turn to when they want to know the latest news about what everyone else is doing. The tools presented in this workshop will teach you how to collect tidbits of gossip, how to assemble them into a more complete picture, and how to go about passing them along.
- Scenario #3: Computer Repairs 101 - How many times a day are Librarians forced to drop everything and deal with library users complaining about a major computer malfunction, when in reality the problem is no more complicated than the mouse cord has come unplugged? Or even worse, what happens when the library user announces they have "fixed" the problem, which results in one less computer, irrate Internet users and a visit from the computer technician? In this workshop, librarians will learn how to discourage users from undertaking "repairs", and technical-sounding jargon to placaite the most insistent "computer expert."
- Scenario #4: Erotica Pool** - Libraries will have a chance to host a collection of tasteful videos, books, CDs and "how-to" manuals. Marital aids not included.
- Scenario #5: Collecting Overdue Materials - are polite reminders and mailed notices being ignored? Do library users feign surprise when you tell them that the book they borrowed in January is past due and needs to be returned immediately? Learn the take-down and repo techniques that are used by the top bounty hunters in Ontario and across Canada.
* Of course, I had another one of my stupid post-apocalyptic dreams. Usually, something disasterous has happened on a global scale, and I'm stuck trying to find various family members - this time, my sister Rachelle who hadn't been heard from, and my sister Denise, who had left me her cat and gone to work, not to be seen again - and figure out how we're going to survive. Then I wake up and try to figure out if what I'm hearing outside is rioting or just traffic and rain.
** A "pool" is a special collection of materials, usually something that a library doesn't have or can't afford to have a whole collection of, and is rotated between participating libraries. Sometimes this might be DVDs or videos, talking books or music CDs.